End of the Year

At this point in time, I have very few things to say.
I'm glad I did this, it's really taught me a lot about my self,
and about other people. Not to mention I'm learning an entire language and understanding
a culture from it.
Short, Simple, and Sweet.
I'm excited to come home. I love this place, these people.
But surviving the entire time with one friend is more difficult than it sounds..
School's going to be hard for the next 5 months. Wish me luck.

Korea trip's almost here!!

One day of school this week, :3 I'm excited.
Things aren't particularly getting better, but I suppose they aren't getting worse.
Seeing Harry Potter with friends really helped, kinda felt like I belonged then.
I'm not really sure about what's all going to happen in Korea, most I know is we're
visiting tombs, and possibly (nothing definate yet) seeing the largest department store in the world.
Because it's only to renew our visas though we aren't staying long, not a lo of things to do.
Prayer war doesn't break out!! XD
Fall has come.
The leaves changed so quickly and fell it seemed like hardly autumn,but with the rain and
the cooler weather it's still around.
My host mom agreed to have Lizzie, and maybe Kodi, over to have a baking day!
We're going to show her how to make Pumpkin Roll, Pumpkin Muffins, and possibly Pumpkin bread.
The whole house is going to be filled with delicious smells!
I can't wait!
Got to go to a Ninja Village yesterday, for Kanto's birthday.
It was really fun!!
Mayu-can and Kanto dressed up in the uniform and got to go through a series
of tests real ninja had to do during the war. Photos will be uploaded laterz.
I already knew most of them, scaling rock walls, walk along a wall, climb a lightly notched wall.
But, my favorite: I aced Shuriken throwing. The master of it (an actual retired ninja) told me I had a real skill for it. There were multiple targets about 5-12 feet away, average for a shuriken attack.
So giving us each 8 shuriken, he taught us how to hold them and throw properly.
the targets are a little smaller than a human chest, right where you'd actually hit.
I made 7/8 he first time all on the target, 5/8 the second when I did it again.
The 5/8 had four on the bull's eye. :3 I really enjoyed it too.
The one's I want are 850 yen each, (roughly 10 bucks each for really nice ones)
Believe me, I want them like none other.
They're so nice to use when you can throw them properly.
We also painted porcelein (sp?) cups.
Jaa, I got things to do~

Past weekend

Yeah, I haven't updated this is quite some time, and i realize that.
Lots has happened really. We're going to Korea in a few weeks for a school trip, that's actually only designed to renew our tourist visas because they expire the EXACT day we leave for Korea.
Oh well, their logic is flawed anyway.
Horrible. That's the only way to describe that past few weeks.
Up and down, more lows than highs. Homesickness has hit me like none other,
and old habits are catching up to me. I've always had trouble opening up to people in my life,
lots of people can agree with me. But it's caught me here bad, trying to open up to my family here
in another country is such a struggle. I'm not saying we don't get along!
But I'm saying I'm not close to them, not like I should be. Which also begs to bring in that I'm really
struggling in Japanese still, and I'm at the point where I'm going to ask if one of the advanced students can tutor me, because I seriously need it.
Biggest low:
I don't fit in here.
There are a maximum of maybe 2 people I really connect with and can talk to.
and they already have their own groups, so I can barely see them.
I'm officially a floater (i think loner is better suited though).
People aren't excluding me from things, I'm not pushed away. But even when I try and go along with them, since they never invite me, it feels as though I'm treated as a bother tag-a-long they wish would go away. Coming from a socially oriented life in WA I've basically done a 180, and I'd rather be alone then try and go along with them any more. I never wanted this, this sucks. Oh, add the stress from school. Yep, just add that to the mix as well. I assure you, it won't hurt. (Right *rolls eyes*) I only have to deal with SYA for the nine months. So, I'm just focusing on my host family and the experiences now, yeah I'll give it my best in school, but that's it. I didn't come for the schooling, I came for the living abroad experience, and to see how much I can grow from this. Frustrated, that's all i've been feeling. Frustrated with myself, with this retarded school system that needs to be fixed, annoyed with the people i have to go to school with.....
I can't give up on this though. I spent all summer working for it. and so many others helped me get here, I'm not going to let them down.
I'm so scared of making mistakes lately, I don't try anything, so I won't make any.
Which I'm beginning to notice is taking it's effect by falling behind in Japanese.
Since I get scared to speak it, I'm not progressing with it. Can I have a counselor now? Someone just needs to wrap Shelby into a box and mail her to me after Macy's Day Parade, she'll do.
so....much....stuff.
Please leave a comment!! :)

Back to Blogging (more like internet diary now that i think about it..)

So I know I haven't been keeping up with as regular posts as I'd like, but we've had a lot of school things going on, and I couldn't quite find the time to type everything out.
The PSAT went well, although now of course that I'm thinking that it's obviously going to mean that i didn't do as well as I'd have liked to. We have a Japanese test tomorrow as well....joy.
The homework is getting outrageous. I know quite a few people saw the debate on facebook about it, but seriously, it's becoming a hassle. They specifically said, oh we won't overwhelm you. Believe me teachers, you're getting there a bit quickly. Other students I know as well have been spending more time on homework and less time with their host families, or vice versa they drastic amounts of sleep getting the homework done while still spending time with their families, which makes them almost pass out during school itself. I had to miss two activities with my family this weekend because of all the homework we were assigned.....more than annoying because believe me, I would have LOVED to have gone bowling instead.
Lol, s'pose my whining is going to get anywhere.
I miss singing all the time...back home me and my friends would go skipping down the street singing every song we could think of together without the music, then use the music and sing them outloud anyway!!! Here...that's not something easy to do..maybe it wouldn't be frowned upon in society, but it would certainly feel a lot more awkward when it feels like you're constantly disturbing the peace. I've found that if I go to different parks after it gets dark and i can't see people, I can sing more confidently, and I'm not that worried about it... :( I'm not sure why this is though, I've sung onstage multiple times and never had issues with it. Sad to think about...
despite feeling more independent than ever before in my life, there are a lot of things I realize I rely on my parents to help me with. XD
Yep, ADOS moment, switching subjects again.
For culture and society class today we went to a theatre in Nagoya and watched a movie called ANPO. A documentary about the treaty between the U.S. and Japan after WW2..it was really about the events prostesting it, and what it's done. It was really something difficult to watch after a while. I've taken history every year since 6th grade, i know my U.S. history pretty dang well. Seeing it from the Japanese perspective really blew my mind away more than anything. It made me want to cry after watching it thinking, "My country did these things, they're caught on tape and photographed as proof...how could they?" They way our bases here are STILL affecting everyday life, who's been responsible for what during the war, and what the U.S. has done since....Definately a reccomendation just for the thinking, but Idk if it'll ever make it online or to the U.S. :S sorry.
Food Scope: I'm never eating Takoyaki again despite how much I love it. My taste buds may, but my body does NOT. chopped octopus in a batter with vegis and something else...soo good...so painful. Also found out people assume we're mostly college kids and we may need to start asking which beverages contain alchohal since they're not openly marked all the time. (No, nothing bad happened we just get offered alchohal or bar seats at restaurants and at festivals too).
Guess I'll try to sleep now, might as well. Lol.
Pleeeeeease E-mail me when you have time, few people have said anything and I really want to stay in touch with people~ :)

English assignment: 1st perspective (mine)

first view:
Coming out from the bathing side of the Nagashima spa, I happened to pass two girls on the stairwell who couldn't stop staring. Trying to shrug it off I looked away and absently fiddled with the yukata I was wearing. Right as I passed them, I could feel her leaning inward as though to bump me into the side wall, and get me to apologize. They reached a landing within two or three steps and glaced at me again. Then whispering to her friend, I heard exactly as she said. Even though she assumed I couldn't understand Japanese, she clearly stated, "Why's a foreigner like her wearing a yukata here?" My fist clenched at my side, but I did my best to let it go. When I heard her words and their meaning I looked back at her again, keeping my glare of disdain apparent on my face. Her eyes widened a bit, and she realized I had understood ever word she'd said.

~Whattya want from me~

Call it self full-filling goals, and I'm not meeting those by my standards.
I keep getting down on myself over and over again, and I don't why. I know I kinda need to give myself a bit more credit, maybe.
School's just school, I want to say "Yep, s'all good." But it's not, it's almost a struggle.
My own thoughts about home keep distracting me and getting myself down, lol hey mom, it's those stupid ANTS again, hahaha, and here we thought we were past it.
I was just sitting in class and a friend of mine said something, I don't even remember now, and I about bit her head off about it for now reason.
Then for the past few days, all I've wanted is to lash out at something and break it. :(
Still have the feeling, but it's really just kinda still building up underneath, I guess that's why I haven't kept my blog as up-to date as I'd like...sorry to those of you that I kept waiting and you only get this, kinda a let down..
Hmm, trying to turn to a better light,
Been listening to Adam Lambert ALOT (lol my newest addiction Shelbs, though it might last too)
Sad fact of it is, he's here in Nagoya RIGHT NOW and the ENTIRE concert is sold out, i tried again and again to get tickets, sad....Lol, maybe I'll run into him on Sat. I'm thinking about going.
Went to the Orthodontist here...THAT was an experience...i had to do 3 molds....I swear if I ever have to do another I'mma hit someone...-.-
But I do like how gentle they were :3 I wanna stay here for my orthodontics XDD!
It was nice, lol. I can understand more Japanese when it's spoken to me, speaking's a bit of a challenge still.....okay...A LOT of a challenge, but still it's S-L-O-W-L-Y getting better.
Cooling off finally, lotsa rain as well. Been wearing longer sleeved shirts, dang, and right when
my mom sent me my camis XD GO FIGURE
I'mma buy batteries soon, STOP ASKING.
Oh, and I'm going to show my host mom my photos of people soon, and places.
So if you have ANY helpful ones, PLEASE send them to me!!!! shyshyx@hotmail.com!!!
LOVE ANY!!
I don't really have a lot I want to say...so..
talk to you guys again i guess.
<3

Holy....wow. (Lotsa rain very very very suddenly)

Small school, lotsa talk.
But I'll leave that aside, not worth getting into.
Got to talk to the Mayor of Ichinomiya today, it was really fun. :) He brought a friend along and his friend told us about a fishing business he has in a nearby shopping center, and invited us to come and see it, and he would teach us how to skin these certain types of fish he sells. Maybe I'll give it a shot, who knows?
Happy Birthday to Nyssa today! We got to have cake and ice cream after our presentations, it was actually a lot of fun. We kinda 'conjumbled' all of the Sept. birthday's together, very interesting.
There wasn't a whole lot going on, I mean English was a test, hope I did something right.... :(
It used to be my best subject at Goldendale!!! Now it's almost a struggle to keep up with all the terminology they use and how to explain it in so much detail. >.< Eep.
We don't have school tomorrow, yay, so I plan on using the day to either finish homework, or find friends to go out with. Haha, probably the latter unless my family has something else planned, which they might, it's a national holiday I believe. Xenia and I started hanging out more, she may be a hermit, but she's pretty fun to be around sometimes, lol.
Most exciting part of the day, we ended up at McDonald's so Nick, Brendon, and Greg could get these Pokemon tickets to catch a Rare pokemon. Wow, the events that took place after that, Never have i seen so many men fascinated by an automatic toilet seat that'll raise and lower on it's own.
Although Ty had his disagreements with it. Don't care if I'm in Japan or greece, i still don't trust McDonald's food. i ate a chicken sandwich yesterday only because Mami-san didn't have time to make lunch and she bought it for me. (actually it was really good) but i miss Burger King's fries.... T-T Mcdonald's fries are all floppy. XP No thank you.
Lol, I know Shelby's probably reading this and I had to tell you: I bought a Soot Sprite!!! There's a Haiyao Miyazaki store in the nearest mall, so I did buy a fluffy soot sprite. X3 Hehehe, they do exist!
I think it was actually pretty neat to see how good Ty is with bike stuff, he's not so bad i guess. I have my doubts still, but hey, he's proven himself more than I give him credit for.
I want to say I'm doing well in Japanese, but it's really quite a struggle, lotsa concepts you have to keep remembering and staying on top of that are making my brain hurt. And the teacher NEVER speaks English!! I mean come on! We're beginners here!! I understand that we need to learn this stuff, but NEVER explaining things in English is a bit extreme, sure, we read the book. That's it. >( Having me repeat something over and over and NOT KNOWING what it means isn't the most helpful tactics in teaching!! I'm about ready to ask anyone if they could tutor me so I could catch up. I'm not really falling behind, I'm sorta hanging on by my fingernails, you know, gaining only a little bit of strength back each time so you can actually hold on a bit longer?? It's difficult! I understood that when I entered into this it was going to be difficult, coming from a really laid back public school, I almost feel inadequate compared to everyone else. Most of them are from Private or Boarding schools, and they're like, super smart. I was top of class in most of my classes back home, here I'm hovering at the low end near the bottom....I don't like it..I can get concepts when they're brought up, talked about, and EXPLAINED. which is why i'm doing so not-so-great in Japanese, and I fear English now as well (it's been tricky).
If she could only speak in English just to say what she means!!! *frustrated*
I had a few moments today where it really hit me to consider leaving..and just going back home. Believe me I don't want to leave!! But I have high expectations of myself, and when I can't meet those goals, I get really hard on myself, and kick myself for not doing better if i could have. You know me Shel, i got so down on myself I bit my lip until it bled to keep from crying, heck no was i going to back out of this challenge. I took this, and I promised myself I would go through it no matter what. You won't believe what actually drove me back to my determination. I actually started (no joke) thinking about what Bobby Koffler would have said if I came back early. Not kidding. My fear over his gossip, XD I have no idea but somehow that did it and i pulled myself together again. Go figure. Something as small as that.
Once I started thinking again, it hit me how many people helped me get to here. All of my family, my friends, Ayutla's, my nieghbors, my teachers. The whole gang back home, Asa and Kody, Jake, Keshia, Keiko, I wish I could list all of you! Everyone who's reading this I'm positive has helped me in one way or another. Thanks, I can't really say that enough, but thank you. I'm putting in my all for this, and I'm going to make the best of it that I can. I got a fresh start at things, sure I'll make mistakes, but I can already change from the ones I've made in the past that don't exist here. :) Mom and Dad especially, I love you both so much and couldn't have done this without your support and help. Everything you've taught me seems to be extrememly useful at this point in time. Manners, logic, reasoning, not spending too much money. Lol. I love you both so much. <3
Oh, that reminds me: Dusty and Jeremiah, I have your presents already XD.
can't wait to here from everyone!

Grrr

This is why I hate missing school. I miss out on everything, be it school related or not, that went on during the day! FRUSTRATING! I can't stand it when i start hearing, "oh yeah remember when.." buuuugs meeee, not to mention already i get to take a test the INSTANT i get back....this sucks....
I wanna see a doctor ;; Mooooommmmyyyyyy lawlz

Random details: TV SHOW 1 (meant for highschool friends)

So i don't know the name of this tv show right?
I'm sitting here watching it, and all i can figure is the main stars of the tv show are taking this famous rockstar out on a date, but he doesn't know he's being filmed or who they really are.
they're being total girly girls, while being fed lines from their friends in a different area.
I keep laughing SOOO hard. I can't begin to tell you how hilarious this is.
They keep pretending they've never heard of his music (just trying to really figure out who he really is as a normal everyday guy) He's a TOTAL JERK. and it's funny because he keeps trying to cover it up all the time.
But the camera keeps catching all of his small movements, like eyebrow stuff, facial expressions, texts. LMAO. I can't describe it enough. He's so SCARED. it's hilarious.
I've watched lotsa shows and this tops it.
XD he's like a lady gaga of Japan, and he sucks at singing.
He thinks he's all tops, and he FAAAAAILLLLSSS.
I wish i knew the name. But it's in kanji characters IDK...
LMAO: he's trying to beatbox....and he can't do that either...
For all those who ever try to immulate this guy IF you find him....DONT.
I'm crying i'm laughing so hard. Lol, whhhoo...i'mm go.
Enjoy guys. XD (try london hearts and see what comes up?) it's in the background of the set.

Hahahaha ...ha...

Wow, first things first since I know my english teacher is reading this number one, we lost internet for a while so that's why my commonplace book isn't quite up to date, and second: IHATEKOKORO! I wanna kill it!
I'm warning all of you, seriously, don't read the book unless you're depressed and have issues, which is a sign that you may need help! T-T that poor book could send people spiraling into depression if they're not careful.
Aside from that i was sick yesterday and today, first time I've missed school in Japan, whoot. Spent it moaning and watching Japanese dramas, they're suprisingly addicting to watch as well. Even though i can hardly understand most of the words they're saying, by watching the images I can kinda guess from time to time what's going on. That and for one of them I made my own story to, i hooked myself to my own make believe story i was watching! I got thoroughly involved with it as well, if i had the strength i was about to throw it off my balcony. I'm feeling much better now, and can keep food down (always a bonus).
Went to Gifu castle on sunday after grape harvesting, it was so amazing I can't even begin to describe it. I'm sorry everyone, i didn't get photos. It was a surprise trip so I didn't bring my camera, not to mention it's still dead (lol my apologies). I learned it was where Nobunaga Ido (sp?) Lived and fought. Known to most as a famous Samurai, he did a lot more than lead battles. He set up the first free trade system in Japan, which worked really well. I saw his swords, armor, and a few other things. It's built on such a steep mountainside there isn't a lot to see, but it was built there in order to allow the fastest way back up to the fortress for the soldiers, but also the most difficult for enemies. Interesting fact: the area they had to practice their horseback riding skills was 5.4m wide and only stretched about 54m long. Not a lot of space. They had to be very sturdy horses in order to climb such sheer faces. There are constant festivals in Gifu to commorate all of the cities unique trades, most of which haven't happened quite yet. I don't quite remember when it was he actually ruled, but his MOST famous act was that he was the first person to actually UNIFY Japan together. and he succeeded.
Lol, enough history.
Older details that i didn't get to post earlier:
I've officially done the extreme. I've eaten off (no joke) Solid Gold silverware.
I eat Kobe (sp?) one of the most expensive meats in Japan, a lot.
I've eaten 2 $200.00 mushrooms (there was 7 total)
I can't begin to tell you how amazing it is living here.
People are so friendly to everyone, it's clean, the food's amazing.
I started writing another story while I was over here, i might post it i'm not sure.
It's still a really big adjustment, and I'm slowly getting the hang of it,
for now though, i'll do with what I can.
To anyone who reads this: Please feel free to e-mail me with questions, or whatever you'd like to say!
I love hearing from anyone from home, or where ever you are!! :)
Happy Birthday's to: Bree and Dusty! Enjoy being 17!
thank you everyone for all your support in helping get me here,
I can't tell you what this all means to me!
Mizuki~

~la la la la~

No a lot has been on my mind lately, i live in the here and now. I'm lessening on stuff back home more and more, and found that I'm enjoying it here more and more. I got to go to Nagoya on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday I went with Alex just to explore, we ended up getting lost numerous times, but it was still a lot of fun. Bought our Halloween costumes (goth loli fakes lol) XD I'm going to be a cheap spender for a while after that. Then on Sunday, i got to go on the Nagoya book store trip, which had books in English so that was really nice. Bought a book called Evermore, Bree reccomended it to me before I left and now I really want to read it when I have time. There was also this huge giant 15 story ferris wheel Helen and I decided to go on. yeah....not doing that again for a while. It was really a lot of fun! Tomorrow's Ma-chans birthday, but she's still too young to actually understand why people celebrate it. I got her a book of her favorite tv character (sorta like a where's waldo) School's back, blech. I like the weekends more. XD, but thankfully we start at nine, and I have 3 hours of free periods every day. So my work gets done in school, and that leaves me with the rest of the night and day to do what I'd like.
We've become very famous at the sweet shop at the top floor in the station. Everyday after school, Hyden, Alex, and I all go there to try a new sweet (we each take turns paying as well) We officially today, have tried over half of them. The other half we're not too keen on because they all have green tea in them, and we're aren't extremely fond of it. They always laugh and smile when they see us, but they know what we like by now so we get reccomendations for different ones every time.
I wish i could say have a point to this blog tonight, but I really don't...just kinda thoughts about today, nothing exciting. Except I do have good news. SYA is working with Ichinomiya High to allow us to join in school activites (Nick, Candice, and I are signed up for choir if it's available) Marius us already doing volleyball with them, and it's difficult to tell whether he's enjoying it or not, sometimes he is, and other times, he just isn't. Oh well, good and bad days, we have them all. My balcony is so beautiful, it's nice to have easy access to a huge view with a nice breeze. I did that earlier today during my free periods, since my work was already done. Just around the school, since i didn't want to sign out. Found out we also have access to the park NEXT to our school, which means that I can ride on flat asphalt instead of the potholed section of ours. Not particularly a lot of room, but it lets me focus on just something else to occupy my mind really.
things are so much different here....i really like it too. Haha, first i need to get the language down though, then i can think about staying here easier.
Feel free to send comments or e-mails! I love hearing from you guys whenever you can!
Best Foot Forward
Keep On Smilin'
Mizuki~

Owari

So, we were sitting at the station, after school just hanging out like we usually do right? Alex, Hyden and I. We didn't have much to do, so we sat in the open area, where the trains come in, and just read since we had English homework. About ten minutes after we sat down, a lady comes up to us and asks us in Japanese where we're from, which we told her America. She was so happy and surprised she stayed and talked with us before her train had to leave, she asked us questions about, why we were here, how'd we like it so far, gave some advice. It really felt nice, sure, we get stares all the time because of our difference, but the best times are when people overcome those gaps and talk to us. It made me feel like we were really accepted where we were, although she was from Nagoya so a little bit off. Anyway, it still felt nice to have people who don't look at us like we have the plague, i can't wait for sports day tomorrow at the high school!!! Maybe students there, as well as us, will be able to overcome the boundaries that seperate us too. New friendship opportunites, and such! Everyone's really excited I can tell, a few people could care less about it, but I'm not thinking about them so it doesn't matter! I wonder how things'll be at Alex's house this weekend since I get to stay with them overnight...anyway, Best Foot Forward, and Keep On Smilin~

Distractions..

Today's been really difficult....attention wise in school.
I kept getting distracted by the randomest thoughts, be they about home, friends, weather..
I didn't get into any trouble, but i felt really reserved today. I had a bunch of people ask me if I was just tired, it wasn't that I felt tired, it was just a "alone" day really. English manages to keep my attention, reminds me a lot of Mrs. Kruse except that Mr. H uses a lot of different words that she did, annotating (sp?) things is a bit difficult to manage because I've never done it before, but I think I'm getting the hang of it alright. Got moved down to Algebra 2 :) Very happy about that, it's exactly where I was when I left Goldendale so this'll be nice. I got a 1/10 on my first pre-calc quiz, clearly a sign I ain't ready for it XD. Which is fine, I didn't think I would be anyway. Don't worry, that grade isn't going to be counted for ANYONE because one out of like 15 people actually passed it with a 90% everyone else got at least a 50% or lower, but after going over everything they all knew it, i didn't :s. I don't remember most of what happened today it seemed. I miss my stories I left back at home, really wish i could work on them too, so long as my parents DONT TOUCH that computer and kill it, I'll be fine. If they do, I will literally cry for a few days, and still be sad when I get home. There's a typhoon that's planning on coming in today and tomorrow, yay for me. -.-' I can't stand humid rain. Rain, fine. Humid rain = x_x I wonder what things are going on at my friend's houses here, some don't live too far away, but it gets dark so early I'm beginning to wonder if I'll get to go out at all come winter time, which I've now learned it DOES in fact snow here too. :3 So I won't have to give that up. focusing on this blog is actually becoming a challenge, so I guess I'll just let it go instead, not worth posting things I might regret later anyhow.
Best foot forward, and Keep On Smilin~

Home Thoughts (homesickness blog)

I always wrote back home in lots of journals what I was thinking about, and put those feelings into my stories, I kinda wish I had those with me now, so i could keep working on them, they weren't quite finished yet, I had a lot still to add...
I can't stop thinking about a lot of the things I left behind, Don't get me wrong! I would've regret my decision forever if I'd have chosen to stay in America1 I absolutely love it here, just, those nagging thoughts in the back of my head, what might have been IF I really hadn't gone away like this. Like if i hadn't of gone, would I still be with my horse? Would I still have taken Japanese through the Columbia Gorge CC? Maybe I'd even still have my job at Ayutla's perhaps? I miss a lot of things. I miss my piano, and how I loved even cleaning it, I miss watching all sorts of movies with my dad, ranging from Spoof comedy to gore, always the best times especially when we both got really into the movie and kept predicting what would happen, or just laughing so hard at dinner my mom would make me leave the room because I couldn't stop laughing and was crying!
I miss seeing my friends, Bree, Josh, Cody, Dusty, Doug, Jess, Sienna, everyone....I miss those who were really a huge part of my life, Asa, Josh-E, Jeremiah, Sean...my family..It sucks being this far away and knowing you have to miss a lot of important things...my dad's surgery, my mom's cooking, and even my brother...who I don't even know if I'm going to see for another 3-4 years!! As if 1 isn't already bad enough, I miss him a lot...I wish we'd been closer growing up, I know the age difference played a huge part of it, but still, I think it could have been a bit different.
Reminds me a lot of Jeremiah, the way he was talking when he told me goodbye right before I left, a feeling I'm certainly NOT going to let go of the entire time I'm here. When Keshia first knew I liked and at RBC, dang that just started it all. Lol, looking back it's nice to remeber his smile, how much confidence it gave me whenever he would say something as simple as, "You can do it, I know you can." I felt as though i could stop time itself it seemed...or how funny he thought it was whenever I saw his with the bulls, or the guys too just roughousing... I feel bad at how much I bothered him right before I left...
Things are really going to be different when I get back I'm sure. I'll have changed, My friend's will have changed. Can't stop time though, best foot forward as much as you can,
Keep On Smilin'

First Week So Far

Geez, I don't even know where to being hardly. This place is amazing so far! My family is really awesome, the Kimuras. I have Mami-san whose my host mother, and she speaks english really well so that's an added bonus in communication. Kisho-san isn't around very much because of his work, he gets home late and leaves really early or is always sleeping in. So i really only get to see him on the weekends, which is fine, we all usually do something special together and whatnot on those days. Kanto-kun is my little brother (oh Kisho's my host dad btw) and a whiz with the piano. He's got 5 trophies inside from piano competitions and is going to Nationals!!! I'm really excited for him! He's also obssesed with baseball and DragonballZ boy does that never end, lol. Mayu-chan (Ma-chan for short) is turning 3 next week!!! I get to sing Happy Birthday in Japanese next tuesday to her! (Shout out to Victoria Happy Birthday today as well!) I live in a westernized house with the grandparents, which is the grander one by far, but I go to the 2nd house for meals and just spending time with my family. I'm not disturbed in my room hardly ever unless they need me for something, it's nice at times, still kinda lonely I suppose. I'm really only in here after dinner if I have homework, or early in the morning if I wake up early enough. I don't have a traditional toilet, thank goodness for that! I've had to use them since I've been here, and yeah, no thank you. If I can hold it and avoid it, by all means I will. So many things running through my head at one time, school's not supposed to be a hassle they say, but it's still school, so it feels like it anyway. Got hit with the homesickness bus a few days ago, but I'm doing alright now, it comes and goes. I see lots of things that remind me of home. Sure, there's a drastic climate change humidity wise, but other than that it looks exactly like home in the Gorge....green, mountainous, people friendly EVERYWHERE. But it's so much safer, and way more organized. These vending machines are all over the place and they sell everything from cigarettes in a maching to most any drink here you can think of. We even saw a Best Buy vending machine in L.A. before we left, boy was that interesting! I keep thinking about how much more adventurous I've become since I"ve been here....I go on rollar coasters now! I talk to people more boldly, I'm not afraid to guess and see what happens, and taking a risk always just seems like a fun challenge now. It's only been a week, but believe me, I'm already changing. We were all joking a few hours ago about how when we get back home we're going to constantly be saying things in Japanese. We'll bump into someone and keep saying, "Sumimasen!" or "Itadakimasu, and Gochisoosama," and every meal. I don't mind in the slightest, *smiles* I'm actually looking forward to it, to have all of that imprinted into my brain so that I do it automatically, to me that would be amazing! espcially with Japanese being my favorite language and all. i"m an official pro at navigating my bike now, well, a novice in compared to the people here, but back home I'd be on top! I was riding home from the Owari Station, a place we usually hang out after school just to relax, and a lady went past me and dropped a few of her groceries. Back home I know I would have stalled to see if they noticed, but here I automatically called out, "Sumimasen!" to her and hopped off to gather them and bring them to her. She was really greatful, made me feel even more at home here...which definately has been taking some adjustment...A few days ago I got really down on myself becuse I still felt as though, i was just a guest for an unknown amount of time. But I pushed forward through it, and decided I'm going to have to work harder at it if I want to be a part of more things, which I did. I began doing things I'd do at home (dishes, cleaning, table setting) and it worked, it was almost like I tricked my body system into thinking I hadn't left, and this was home. I don't have to trick myself as much right now, it's really starting to sink in that I'm actually here....who know's what else could possible in store.
We went to the water park called Lagunasia (I think) near the pacific ocean on Sun. HOLY COW it was SUGOI!!!! (Amazing for all you non-japanese speakers) I got to bring a friend along, so Helen came with me. It was expensive, 5,000 yen (bout $60) but that let us have access to ALL the rides, and ALL the water areas. I went on rollar coaster after rollar coaster thanks to Helen! I figured, heck it was one of my first chances to EVER ride a rollar coaster in Japan, I loved it and became instantly addicted to them. We went on a wave machine, lots of guys staring at us too! ;) in a good way. Wading pool, figured out what the japanese version of "It's a Small World After All," is like....it wasn't Disney but wow....it was...Interesting...*laughing* I remember going the the rollar coaster and  at the top before we went down, looking over the Pacific Ocean and thinking...I'm on the other side of it...massive wave of nostalgia hit ride as the adrenaline mixed with the fall, nice feeling actually :).
Speaking of the guys staring, for me that's really been the biggest adjustment. I know for a few others it has too, like Helen and Alex, Hina and Lizzie too I think. No matter what, where ever we go it's unavoidable. We. Are. Stared. At. Sometimes it can be really degrading because they'll say something insulting thinking we can't understand Japanese, believe me, we know enough to know where you're making fun of us. It hasn't lessened...but we're adapting..we don't notice it as much, and if they stare we just smile back and give a nice head nod. So many thoughts racing around in my head.....still have a lot to sort out...But best foot forward! Keep On Smilin'