Swim out to Sea

I'm sick of myself.
I go the beach, I want to live out the feeling of it.
The warm sand, the new weather, the new food even.
But I sit there. On the sand.
Avoiding the sea, just watching as the tide rolls in and out, and back in again.
My friends all run in, they aren't afraid of it.

Splashing happily, laughing gaily.
Their voices match in harmony with the soft breeze blowing.
I draw shapes in the sand, consider making a castle even.
I struggle inside, fearing that dark blue abyss.

My friends pulled me out sometimes
But I never could go out as far as them.
I hated myself for it. I was holding back.
I needed to forget my fears, just leap away.

The sun is beginning to set now,
things are slowly deciding to be over and done with.
I still have a chance, I can make it out to them, I could go farther than them even.
All I have to do is live.

No more guessing, no more worrying.
Focus on now. The future can remain uncertain.
My life has barely begun, and now's where I can make the most.
Smile and breathe, and rush into the current.
My friends are all right there, we won't let each other fall.
~Party harty' on Titanic~